Age Makes No Difference Till You Open Your Mouth
by magickalgirls
Summary: Levi, a French TA, runs into one of his students at a club. Posted as part of RivaMika Week on Tumblr. I don't own these characters and all mistakes are my own. Reviews would be nice, but it's okay if you don't. Kind of crack-y. [MikasaxLevi] title take from a Maximo Park song.


"Hanji, did you really need to bring me on the night you're going on a sexual prowl?" Levi loudly asked her. Sweaty bodies crashed into them as they entered the club. EDM inspired pop music blared loudly in the club. He registered the song currently playing as that one Britney Spears song Hanji played whenever she decided she needed a quick 3 minute work-out break.

Hanji laughed. "Just because you haven't gotten any in a while doesn't mean that I have to subject myself to that form of senseless torture," she shoved him forward, "now go forth. I don't want people to assume I came here with a partner." He took another step forward and looked back at Hanji. She raised her voice, "Shoo!" She gestured him away and toward a group of girls. He ignored her suggestion and walked to the bar.

It's not that Levi wasn't interested in sexual intimacy; it's simply that this year as a teaching assistant at the local university didn't enable him much time for dating. With him pursuing his masters in French Literature, he had a busy academic schedule and plenty of readings. Add on the fact that this year the French department was short on instructors, Levi's great performance reviews earned him an invitation to teach an extra two classes this semester. There was definitely a lack of free time in his life. Tonight was one of those rare nights of freedom. From his seat, he scanned the crowd for Hanji. When he found her, he saw that she was currently busy dancing with a dark-haired man.

He ordered a drink from the bartender and sat there looking at his phone. He checked his email and read through his messages – most were questions from his students in his French sections. The bartender placed his drink next to him. Levi lifted the drink to his lips and took a small gulp when he noticed a student in one of his sections across from him, Mikasa Ackerman.

She was a raven-haired beauty from his 3 p.m. section. Immensely talented at French, he refused to believe her when he overheard her say to Connie Springer that it was her fourth language and not her native tongue.

He saw that she was wearing a red scarf around her neck; it seemed to him that she wore that thing any time of the year ignoring all social convention about wearing scarves to night clubs. She talked to a tall boy with sandy brown hair, she didn't seem all too interested in the conversation though. As the boy started getting closer to her, visible discomfort started nestling into her brow.

Levi got up and walked toward them. He understood that his actions were especially out of character, but he always had a need to protect.

"Hey baby, you wanna leave and have a little fun?"

"No."

"C'mon, don't be that way," he grabbed her arm, "we can drink a little more and really have some fun."

"I said no, not interested," she shook his arm off. The amount of alcohol circulating in her body affected her, causing her to fall backwards and crash into Levi.

"Are you okay?" Levi asked her, helping her stand straight.

"P-professor! Sorry about that. Y-yes, I'm fine. Thank you. What are you doing here?" she replied, staring at Levi.

"I'm here with-" he was interrupted.

"Hey! Look dude, this conversation doesn't involve you, so how about you leave? We were about to do something important" growled the tall boy, staring down at Levi.

"It seemed like you didn't have her consent to continue on," he said gruffly, taking a step forward.

They glared at each other, asserting dominance via glances. The boy eventually gave in, leaving the pair and heading over to a group of girls.

"Thank you," Mikasa said to him, "I'll be," she paused to straighten her posture, she was clearly drunk, "leaving now."

"As in home or this conversation?"

"Home. I'm never letting my dumbass friends take me out again," she ranted, "Looks like Eren got drunk again and won't be leaving with me," she pointed at a dark haired boy dancing alongside a blond? Blonde? Was that a girl or a boy? They were too far for him to tell.

"Are you going alone?"

She nodded. An odd sensation settled in his stomach, he usually never worried about the antics of his students. In fact, some called him callous. He scanned the dance floor once more for Hanji and saw her dancing with the same man from earlier. He stated, "I'll walk with you." For the second time that night, he felt out of character.

While she was drunk inside the club, he should have realized that by stepping outside the club, the alcohol and cool breeze would magically worsen her drunken state via the Physic Laws of Drinking (as Hanji liked to call it).

She starts falling forward and Levi grabs her, wrapping his arm around her to hold her up. A soft shade of scarlet spread across her cheeks. They walked along quietly for a few moments, Mikasa leading the way. Levi enjoyed the comfortable silence. He thought that her age implied a certain level of immaturity thus compelling her to act ridiculously. However, so far she was quiet and meek. But then she opened her mouth to speak and, well, age makes a difference once a person opens their mouth.

"Is it true that you put whiskey in your tea because you're trying to be hardcore?"

"What?" He looked at her with a puzzled look. _Oh, these must be her drunken ramblings,_he thought to himself. He was used to drunken rambling. Hanji frequently rambled when she was inebriated — usually it pertained to her research projects, but sometimes she would tell him her embarrassing stories from her undergraduate days.

He listened as she rattled off, scoffing appropriately at certain remarks.

"You know, your hairstyle hasn't been cool since Mortal Kombat was released."

"You seem strong. Would you use that stop sign as a stripper pole? One time as kids, my brother did and my friend and I have never let him live it down."

"One time I had a dream and you were in it but you were some clean freak _heichou _who wanted to kill all these giant cannibal human things called titans. The scary part of the dream wasn't that the titans or the fact that you were in it; it was the fact that the titans didn't have sex parts_. _You also beat up my brother in that dream!" She hit his arm.

"Why do girls talk about you like you're some sexual god waiting to be unleashed? Have you secretly been sleeping with your students, Heichou? Or is their thirst _that real?_"

"You look like a guy who probably had an emo phase. Your eyes scream 'I used to use guyliner.' I bet you used to masturbate and Bright Eyes played in the background. What a nerd."

"Did your first girlfriend know you were a nerd or did she find out and break up with you because of it? Oh! Oh! She probably broke up with you because your Billie Joe Armstrong impression wasn't good enough, right?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you hate it when girls ask you 'voulez-vous coucher avec moi?' and then burst out into a dramatic rendition of Lady Marmalade? And not the original version; no, they try to sing it like Christina Aguilera."

"When you have sex with someone, do you speak to them in French? Because I'm going to be frank, I don't know how French would sound sexy when you're going down on a girl._Je vais aller descendre sur toi."_

She said the last part in a thick, fake French accent and Levi choked down his laugh, impressed that even as inebriated as she was, she could even attempt to speak in French. She said it completely wrong, but given how little vocabulary he's taught his classes, her attempt was definitely something. He thought Hanji was a bad drunk, but Mikasa's words traveled from another galaxy and escaped her mouth as though attempting to mar whatever reputation as an intelligent young woman she had developed and instead created the image of a stupid brat.

"If you're going to suggest that, please refer to me in the formal vous. And sometimes," Levi answered.

Three times. Three times he was out of character. What was there to Ackerman to have him change so much?

Mikasa giggled at his response. She jumped, shocked as though to hear a giggle escape her mouth. She seemed satisfied with his answer. For a few brief moments, she didn't speak and let silence nestle between their breaths.

Levi noticed from the corner of his eye she was wrapped in whatever thought whirled around in her head at that moment. She opened her mouth as though wanting to speak again but shut it quickly and started humming. It sounded familiar to Levi.

Mikasa started muttering the words from the song, "You wanna live fancy, live in a big mansion, party in France? You better work bitch."

His eyes gleamed as he recognized it. It was the song that was blaring in the club when he first entered the club. Mikasa noticed his reaction.

"Are you a closeted Britney Spears fan? I knew it! You look like a closeted Britney Spears fan," she said. Mikasa stopped. "This is my stop."

Levi hadn't realized that they had already reached her apartment complex – which wasn't too far from his. All her drunken comments thoroughly entertained him on the walk there. She needed to learn when to shut up though; she was a brat when she was drunk.

As they walked in front of the door, she softly whispered to him, "You're nicer than your expression lets on." She kissed his cheek and ran inside.

_Maybe the brat isn't so bad, _he thought, leaving the building and heading home, humming the song quietly.


End file.
